Some may classify me as a young millennial or old gen-z as I was born just before the new millennium. Yes, I have distinct memories of dial-up internet and participating in the Pizza Hut BOOK IT! Program but I also learned cursive in school, had many lessons on the value of recycling, and prefer Instagram over any social media platform.

Some of my earliest memories include my dad returning from Ground Zero deployment, listening to conversations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, growing up during the “war on terror” era,  the “rise” of teen pregnancy and shows like 16 & Pregnant (in retrospect, it was actually declining - Office of Population Affairs), as well as living through the 2008 election cycle when I “voted” for the first time at school and the murder of Treyvon Martin. 

When you look at my life with the lens of what was going on in America - from multiple international wars, shifts in societal standards, to expansions of individual rights with subsequent attempts to roll them back, and even living in several defining moments of the 21st century around race - growing up has been interesting to say the least.

It was around the time I was in junior-high school that I first remember the term “safe-space” being introduced. Since then, the term continued to make appearances peaking while I was in college but has continued to follow in my professional career. What’s consistent in these appearances is that the folks attempting to build and cultivate community in this way are always well intentioned. What’s also consistent is that very rarely have these attempts to create a sense of comfort and ease ever landed - for me atleast.

I know that I am in a safe space when my nervous system is completely at ease and I am not in my head about what I am about to say or if the people around me will accept me in my most authentic form. 

- Jesana Gadley

Safe Spaces: An Overview

A safe safe is a term used to describe an environment intended to be free of criticism, harassment, discrimination, or other things that may cause harm to the person/ people within it. The term originates from the LGBTQ community with the opening of gay and lesbian bars in the 1960s and has expanded to other marginalized groups in America (Crockett, 2016). 

Just to be clear, safe spaces are not environments in which harmful speech can be spewed,  where folks can share a myriad of thoughts without guilt or being held accountable, and they for sure are not a club or extracurricular activity.

The best safe spaces that I’ve experienced are those where I know for sure that I can exist, and engage, and be seen without needing to over explain myself - because the people who are there already know or have first hand context for my lived experiences. 

They are the spaces I go to ‘have my cup filled’ - like Black women communing at the hair salon, people gathering after church, and even a group of friends or colleagues getting together in their favorite space. I know that I am in a safe space when my nervous system is completely at ease and I am not in my head about what I am about to say or if the people around me will accept me in my most authentic form. 

Some of these spaces have been crafted intentionally - with its purpose and people in mind - and others formed organically but what's common among them is the genuine connection, place of belonging, and overall sense of ease that comes from having built a mutual trust. 

The attempts to create these spaces in schools, universities, and the workplace is inspiring. As a society, we envision a world in which our places of education and work - spaces which we spend a majority of our lives - carry some of the characteristics of the spaces that we know we can exist without strife. However, where it seems we’ve fallen short is in how we put this into practice.

A Failed Attempt

I experienced a failed attempt first hand when a serious racial incident occurred during a pivotal moment of my education journey and in response, school reps attempted to create a “safe space”. A forum was created, students and staff were welcomed to share their thoughts and feelings, and members our external community were welcomed to help us get through that difficult time.

When the news broke that this happened, I was with friends watching the picture circulate on Snapshot asking myself “is this real life?”. It wasn’t that I didn’t think something like this was possible, I’d just never experienced that display of racism. Thinking back, I do not think I was not overly surprised and at some point, I kinda went numb.

I really struggled with feeling as though I belonged in that environment and trusting my peers with me. I did not believe the depths of my anger would be understood if I were to outwardly express it. I also did not believe that as I worked though the many other things I was feeling, that I’d be treated with care. Truthfully, I continued to struggle with this for the rest of my time there. 

As I was working though this, I turned to the community I’d created among the niche spaces that made it known to me that they were created to support the fullness of everyone - of all backgrounds. In these small rooms, with my peers and school leaders who demonstrated their commitment to ensuring we felt included is where I found my solace.

When our culture is one that ensures you and I know that whatever version of ourselves we want to present at work, at school, on the Boards we chair, and the committee we support - is more than welcome, and there is space for that version of us - connection within these spaces will thrive.

- Jesana Gadley

The Power of Sisterhood

My experience finding a safe space among the people who created and held space for me is not unique. Women, especially Black Women, have endured this time and time again. Most recently, we were privileged to witness the powerful bond of sisterhood and glimpses of a “safe space” at the NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament press review following the LSU Tigers defeat.

In this moment, we see Flau’jae Johnson and Hailey Van Lith come to the defense of Angel Resse following a stream of sensationalized criticism of Angel over the past few years. Angel has been villainized, sexualized, and dehumanized in ways that other athletes have not been before the public with. While speaking to her character and the ways she’s poured into them as a leader of the team, what’s clear is that these are bonds in-which no leadership led initiative could replicate. The bonds between these women were created by them showing up, wiping each other's tears, and continuing to be of support to one another especially in moments of adversity.

Working Within Your Power

Given the power structures that exist between employers and employees as well as school administrators and students, there are limitations to the effectiveness of school/workplace leadership initiated safe spaces. However, what is within reach for them, is prioritizing the development of inclusive environments for their members.

When our culture is one that ensures you and I know that whatever version of ourselves we want to present at work, at school, on the Boards we chair, and the committee we support - is more than welcome, and there is space for that version of us - connection within these spaces will thrive. People will feel as though they belong. There will be no need for awkwardly positioned “safe spaces”.

This is not to say that schools and places of work should not create space for their members to come together to be in community with one another or to discuss what’s causing us strife. We should just acknowledge that the attributes of the spaces which our students and employees feel most safe are not guaranteed to exist fully at work or at school. 

Similar to other people my age, this phase of life is very much rooted in rebuilding my community and being intentional about the people I want in my life. I’m constantly changing and reimagining myself. As I am doing this, I need to be able to do so with ease and without bounds. I need my safe space to be the place where I can show up unbuttoned and have no risk of it being exploited. 

The parts of me I share at work are the parts of me I feel are best positioned to accomplish the goals I have in that space. It’s not that I do not feel comfortable sharing the other parts of me - I just reserve them for the spaces they are meant for. And truthfully, I don’t think this notion is radical, if you think about it we all have a version of this and that is okay. Some degree of separation is actually healthy.