Experienced therapist, Charla Horhn shares insight on how to survive the world we live in.

Black people, and especially Black women, have this reputation of feeling that we are constantly in an endurance test to determine how much pain and suffering can we stomach while being silent. We are taught to be “strong” and given high-5s for our perseverance to keep going and “keep our head up” while the world is crashing down around us. No matter what household you grew up in, or what your grandparents may have told you about “keeping family business in the family”, more black people need to talk about the importance of maintaining mental health within our community.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but... it is OK to not feel fine all of the time.

On social media, in the news, hell even in our music, everyone is talking about racial injustices. We’re being constantly berated by images of ourselves being killed and tossed aside as if we were never there. Then after tears have fallen and we cannot being ourselves to scroll over another image, we have to put our smile on, walk into the office or log into Zoom to work and pretend that we feel “fine”. I don’t know who needs to hear this but... it is OK to not feel fine all of the time. With so many reasons to be down or sad about the state of the world and our future, this is a time when mental health awareness and support is most important. 

If this time in 2020 has taught me anything, it is to harness the gift I have of being uniquely me.

Self-healing is the part of generational wealth we do not talk about enough and we all owe it to ourselves and to the next generations to come to face the emotions we feel inside. Seeking therapy may not be to talk about racial inequalities, or to explore a past trauma you experienced. It could simply be wanting to increase your emotional intelligence or your awareness of self. But if this time in 2020 has taught me anything, it is to harness the gift I have of being uniquely me. We have been given this opportunity to grow deeper in our relationship with our faults, fears, hopes, and transgressions. Developing an identity outside of the images we see on television, seemingly picture-perfect photos of our peers online, or the immeasurable expectations of what we think we “should” be and do. The relationship that is the most important to and that is constantly ever-changing is the one we have with ourselves. We cannot manifest the things we truly want to do in this life or even properly access our purpose if we do not take the time to know who we are.